{"id":37304,"date":"2017-07-29T05:31:53","date_gmt":"2017-07-29T05:31:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.biphoo.com\/bipnews\/?p=37304"},"modified":"2017-07-29T05:31:53","modified_gmt":"2017-07-29T05:31:53","slug":"what-to-do-when-your-family-and-partner-dont-get-along","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.biphoo.com\/bipnews\/lifestyle\/family\/what-to-do-when-your-family-and-partner-dont-get-along.html","title":{"rendered":"What to do when your family and partner don\u2019t get along"},"content":{"rendered":"

What to do when your family and partner don\u2019t get along<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

What to do when your family and partner don\u2019t get along:-\u00a0When you\u2019re involved with someone, you\u2019d hope that they and your family get along, but in reality, that\u2019s not always the case.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a situation that is more common than not, relationship expert Shannon Tebb says, and it can leave both the romantic and family relationships strained and under a lot of stress.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou feel like you\u2019re fighting for both of you \u2013 for both you and your partner to gain approval,\u201d Tebb says. \u201cYou\u2019re going to feel stress. Your partner is going to want to feel accepted into your family, and when you marry someone, you marry into the family, so the family dynamic would eventually have to be strong.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But it all depends on the relationship one has with their family in the first place, Tebb adds.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe you\u2019re not very close with your parents so maybe their opinion doesn\u2019t really matter because you\u2019re building a new life with your partner, and they end up not being a part of that equation,\u201d she says. \u201cBut in the majority of cases, we want our parents and family to approve because this person you\u2019re with is going to be involved in [your life] and you don\u2019t want the tension to rise.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

So what can one do if they find themselves playing referee between their partner and family?<\/span><\/p>\n

Tebb offers a few tips on how to manage the iffy situation.<\/span><\/p>\n

First impressions are important<\/span><\/p>\n

Before your family meets your partner, brief your partner on some ideas on how to get in good with the family.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLet them know they shouldn\u2019t be afraid to get a little hands-on, like help with dishes or barbecuing,\u201d Tebb suggests. \u201cIt\u2019s about bonding. So don\u2019t let them sit there in the corner. Remind them to take action, thank your parents, show up with a bottle of wine. Your partner should show them that they\u2019re putting in the effort in getting to know them and becoming involved.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Talk with your parents and partner<\/span><\/p>\n

First, Tebb says, sit down with your parents and figure out why they\u2019ve taken a disliking to your partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFind out if their judgment is based on reasonable concern or if it\u2019s bias,\u201d she says. \u201cIf your partner\u2019s aggressive or controlling, then that\u2019s going to be red flags for your family. But get to the root of the problem and find out why they\u2019re disapproving. What is it they don\u2019t like about them, and ask them how your partner can win their trust.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

And while we often feel the need to defend out partner to others, in these situations, we need to trust our own judgment but still be open to feedback, Tebb says.<\/span><\/p>\n

Also, have a conversation with your partner, Tebb advises, and let your family know that you\u2019re discussing the situation with your partner as well, so as to show you\u2019re not picking sides.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTell your partner that you\u2019ve noticed the disconnect between them and the family,\u201d she says. \u201cTell them that both [they] and your family are very important to you, and that you\u2019d like to create an opportunity for everyone to find a common something that can bring everyone together.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Keep relationship problems away from your family<\/span><\/p>\n

Sometimes we just need to vent, and often people will turn to trusted family members to do that. Don\u2019t do this, Tebb says, as it can help create the situation or make an existing one worse.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFamilies do kind of judge and sometimes the less they, the better,\u201d Tebb says. \u201cYou want to be able to show them the different side of things and let them know that this person, who is a part of your life, is helping you build a future together.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

However, if there are problems with abuse, then it is something that should be brought to your family\u2019s attention, Tebb clarifies.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bring everyone together<\/span><\/p>\n

Try to find a way to bring everyone together with a fun activity, Tebb says.<\/span><\/p>\n

Find an activity that will show everyone\u2019s character traits and that way, your family will get to know your partner better, and vice versa.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, refrain from forced activities and outings like brunch, for example. Everyone will just feel awkward and it won\u2019t be a pleasant experience, says Tebb.<\/span><\/p>\n

Source:-\u00a0http:\/\/globalnews.ca\/news\/3626729\/what-to-do-when-your-family-and-your-partner-dont-get-along\/<\/span><\/p>\n

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